


Story "In Search of" a Title

by VivArney



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Star Trek
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 14:27:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5500676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VivArney/pseuds/VivArney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post "Wrath of Khan"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Story "In Search of" a Title

**Author's Note:**

> Come on, we've ALL written a Doctor Who / Star Trek crossover at one point. 
> 
> This one was written for a convention competition. Didn't win, but then the story that DID win, well let's just say the judges were biased. 
> 
> This is, of course, a comedy.

Captain's Log: Stardate 8303.3  
The death of Spock has caused an understandable sag in morale aboard the Enterprise.

Kirk thumbed the off switch and turned to a sour looking McCoy. "Well, Bones, any luck with the project I gave you?"

McCoy shrugged. "I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker, Jim. My diagnosis is the same, without Spock, our morale might as well be flushed down the nearest toilet."

"You're a big help."

The intercom whistled suddenly, nearly knocking Kirk out of the command chair. He reached over and turned the volume down. "Yes, Scotty?"

"There's something doon here ye ought ta see, Admiral."

Kirk raised an eyebrow. "Really, Scotty? What is it?"

"Och, you'll ne'er believe it."

Kirk stood and headed for the turbolift. "Are you coming, Bones?"

"Do I have a choice?"

A few minutes later, they stood in the middle of the main Engineering room, staring at a tall, blue box. A light blinked at the top of the thing and it was making a dreadful noise. To Kirk it sounded like an asthmatic hippopotamus with a cold.

"What is that thing, Scotty?" Kirk shouted over the din.

"I dunno, sir. I just walked in and there it was," the Scotsman replied as puzzled as Kirk and the doctor.

Kirk picked up a tricorder and aimed it at the box. Before he could get a reading, the door opened and a tall man in an old fashioned frock coat. He was handsome in a peculiar way and he wore an incredibly long, multi-colored scarf looped around his neck. The man flashed the three men a huge grin and then spoke. "Well, I finally make it to Bustillo," he said with a sigh of relief. Then he took a really good look around the room. "Oh, my, this isn't Bustillo."

"No, it isn't," Kirk said finally. "Who are you and what are you doing on my ship?"

The man smiled again. "I read somewhere that you were looking for your friend and I though I might pop in and see if I could help," he explained, running his fingers through his mop of curly brown hair. "This is the TARDIS, I'm the Doctor and where's the bridge?" he said quickly and walked swiftly toward the corridor, leaving them standing by the box in bewilderment. The  
tall stranger turned suddenly. "We'll never find your friend this way," he called, motioning for them to follow him.

"Really takes charge, doesn't he?" McCoy asked."But what does he mean about looking for a friend?" he asked worriedly.

"We'll find out later. Let's just go find that madman before we have a mutiny on our hands," Kirk said, starting off after the stranger.

They found him on the bridge, discussing botany with Sulu.

"What took you so long?" the man asked without turning his head.

Kirk stepped down into the lower level of the bridge. "You didn't answer my question, Doctor whoever you are."

"Not Doctor Whoever," the man corrected. "Just the Doctor." He then stared down at the chronometer. "And I've just realized that I've come two weeks early."

"What the blazes are you talking about, Doctor?" McCoy asked.

"You haven't started looking for your Vulcan friend yet, have you?"

"Are you talking about Captain Spock?" Sulu asked. "I'm sorry, but he died."

The stranger shook his head. "He isn't really dead, you know?"

"Of course he is," McCoy insisted.

The taller man grinned toothily. "I do so love humans. No, Doctor, your friend is far from dead. In fact, I can take you right to him."

Scotty bounced on the balls of his feet, his hands behind his back. "Aye, can ye now? And where might that be?"

The Doctor pulled a worn paper sack from his coat pocket and opened it. "Of course. He's on a planet where thousands of women swarm after him, write surprising good poetry about him and faint at the chance to meet him in person," he explained, removing a piece of candy from the bag and popping it into his mouth. He offered the bag to Kirk who waved it away. "They write enough books about him to fill a black hole and some of them are rather... imaginative."

McCoy threw up his hands in surrender. "Sounds like here, only worse!" he complained.

Kirk shot him a dirty look and turned to the Doctor. "Which planet?"

The Doctor shook his head. "I doubt he'll come back with you, Admiral."

"What makes you so sure?"

The other man shrugged, then smiled broadly. "Would you like me to take you to him?" he asked.

Kirk frowned. "Just tell us which planet he's on and we'll go pick him up."

The Doctor shook his head, his curly hair bobbing. "I'm afraid it's not that simple, Admiral. He's on Earth in the year 1983."

"We've traveled in time before," Kirk said quietly.

"Ah, but you don't do it for a living, do you?"

"Of course not," Scotty exclaimed. "It's too dangerous."

"Bah!" the Doctor snorted. "It's simple when you know how."

"You mean you do?" Uhura asked from her post.

"Yes, in my TARDIS," he agreed. "Now, who wants to go with me?" he asked, then pointed to McCoy and Scotty. "You and you," he said and headed for the turbolift, muttering, "You really do need to get some better lighting up here before you all go blind."

Kirk, McCoy and Scotty followed him into the lift, their faces awash with questions, but before they could speak, the Doctor shushed them.

When they reached the TARDIS, Kirk finally asked why the Doctor wasn't letting him go along.

The Doctor looked the Admiral up and down before he replied. "Too pushy," and stepped into the TARDIS. "Come along, you two," he urged, holding the narrow door open for them.

Scotty followed him inside, but McCoy hesitated.

"Tell Spock we need him," Kirk said. "Offer him anything he wants."

McCoy nodded then stepped through the door.

Kirk watched in silence as the blue box vanished, leaving only the echo of its terrible sound behind it.

* * * * *

McCoy followed Scotty into a large control room. The Scotsman was clearly fascinated by the large hexagonal console which stood in the center of the room.

"I recognize most o' this equipment," Scotty said, his eyes glowing. "But what's this?" he asked, touching a toggle switch.

"That's a gravitic anomolizer," the Doctor answered. "But I wouldn't touch it, if I were you," he warned without looking up from his calculations.

Scotty pulled his hand away as if it had been burned.

A few moments later, the Doctor announced that they had arrived. "I've materialized us in a city called Los Angeles." He punched a small button on the console. The doors opened with a soft "mwah" and he stepped toward the opening.

McCoy and Scott followed him reluctantly. They found themselves standing in a room full of fake walls and staircases.

"Where are we?" Scotty asked worriedly.

"Studio prop room. It's as good a place as any to hide the TARDIS," the Doctor told them. "If I'm right, your friend should be around here somewhere."

They followed him out of the room and into a large corridor. Coming toward them was a short, waddling creature with large eyes protruding from a wedge shaped head that reminded Scotty of an upside down foot. "Phone homme," it muttered in a gravelly voice.

"What's that?" Scotty whispered to McCoy.

"You're asking me?"

The Doctor squatted to the creature's level. "Hello there," he said with a broad grin and a friendly voice. "How are you, old friend?"

The creature muttered something in response.

The Doctor nodded. "Yes, I agree," he said. "But sometimes that's the way things go, eh?"

The creature bobbed his head and continued on his way.

The Doctor stood. "I told him not to waste his time looking for work here," he muttered and started off again.

As they rounded a corner, McCoy and Scott almost slammed into a tall, thin man carrying a clipboard.

McCoy stared in amazement at the familiar face. "Spock!" he exclaimed in a shocked croak. "My God, what happened to your eyes?"

The man smiled. "My what?" he asked. "You know I'm not in this part of the movie. What are you two doing here today anyway?"

"We came to get you," Scotty replied.

The man smiled again. "Wait a minute. Come into my office," he said, opening a door nearby.

Inside, he motioned for them to sit. As soon as the door w s closed, he picked up a pair of glasses and perched them on his nose. "Thank you for bringing them, Doctor," he said, sitting behind the desk.

The curly haired stranger nodded and smiled.

"Jim sent you to convince me to come back, didn't he?" the thin man asked.

"Aye,' Scotty said. "The crew's been in a blue funk ever since ye left. We thought ye were dead."

"What happened to me was very strange, but I am not prepared to return to the ENTERPRISE at this time." 

"Why?" Scotty asked.

Spock pulled a drawer open and withdrew a small rectangular piece of paper. "This is as good a reason as any, I think," he said, handing the paper to McCoy.

McCoy took it and stared open-mouthed at the staggering sum printed on the check. "They give you this much money?"

He nodded. "There are other benefits as well, Doctor, but I won't go into them at this time." He stood. "And speaking of time, It's time you were returning to the ship. The longer you remain here, the greater the danger that your presence could disrupt the flow of time."

The Doctor nodded. "I'll take them back," he promised.

Scotty stood. "You're sure you'll nae be returnin' wi' us?"

Spock shook his head. "I don't belong there any longer, Mr. Scott. I never really did belong there - or should I say then. Please, go back now."

Reluctantly, the two men followed the Doctor back to the TARDIS. A few minutes later, they were standing on the deck of the Enterprise.

"Well, Bones?"

McCoy shrugged. "it's just like the Doctor said, Jim, he won't be coming back. He's a famous actor / director now. He said it's best we consider him dead."

"How'd he look?"

McCoy smiled. "I finally got a chance to see what he'd look like without those ears.


End file.
